Definition
Triangulation is the process by which a two-person tension is stabilized by pulling in a third — a child, an in-law, a symptom, a substance. It reduces immediate tension while preventing resolution.
Why it matters
Naming triangulation clarifies conflicts that otherwise recur endlessly. Children pulled into adult tensions carry particular cost.
The Science
Triangulation is one of Bowen’s core concepts and has been studied empirically as a driver of chronic family stress and childhood psychological difficulty.
The NSI Perspective
NSI treats triangulation as an intelligible short-term protective strategy of a two-person nervous system — with long-term costs to the third.
Clinical Implications
Untriangulating a system is often more powerful than solving any surface conflict.
Practical Application
If you have felt caught between two people who cannot handle their own tension, that is triangulation. You were not wrong to feel it.
References
- 1.Bowen M. The use of family theory in clinical practice. Compr Psychiatry. 1966;7(5):345–374.